Regarding your point about fairness…..Something I learned years and years ago is about creating “fairness” in relationships. It is this:
Life, if it going to be fair is going to be fair in the long run not the short run.
Same with relationships: If they are going to be fair they are going to be fair in the long run more than in the short run. Making them fair in the short run is often destructive to relationships. Realizing that if the relationship is good then all will be fair in the long run preserves them. And it means not sweating the small stuff.
I once heard Brené Brown say that relationships are rarely 50-50. Sometimes is 60-40, sometimes it's 90-10. What you shared reminded me of that. Thanks for the reflection!
Thanks so much, Olga. Simple, but not easy, especially in the heat of an emotionally-charged argument with a loved one. Glad you enjoyed and found it valuable.
Good stuff Holzy.
Adam—all good points. Great points, actually.
Regarding your point about fairness…..Something I learned years and years ago is about creating “fairness” in relationships. It is this:
Life, if it going to be fair is going to be fair in the long run not the short run.
Same with relationships: If they are going to be fair they are going to be fair in the long run more than in the short run. Making them fair in the short run is often destructive to relationships. Realizing that if the relationship is good then all will be fair in the long run preserves them. And it means not sweating the small stuff.
I once heard Brené Brown say that relationships are rarely 50-50. Sometimes is 60-40, sometimes it's 90-10. What you shared reminded me of that. Thanks for the reflection!
All great reminders. As you said, sounds easy, not so much to follow through in the moment.
Very good writing here.
Thanks so much, Olga. Simple, but not easy, especially in the heat of an emotionally-charged argument with a loved one. Glad you enjoyed and found it valuable.